Why Do You Love Me?
by YouRemindMe
Summary: AU, Established John/Cameron. How John must deal with the emergence of Cameron's emotions. NOT related to Sometimes. Rated M because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **A series of one shots/drabbles about John and Cameron's relationship as they must deal with the emergence of Cameron's emotions. Established John/Cameron.

_**In no way related to **_**Sometimes**_**. I'm still writing it (expect an update sometime this weekend). I had to write this though. I just did what the plot bunnies told me. I had no choice, really. They had guns. Big, Cameron-esque guns.**_

_**Title comes from the Garbage song 'Why Do You Love Me'. Check it out at:**_

.com/watch?v=dcrv9nhH9iY

_**Although I was also listening to 'Anywhere' by Evanesence while I wrote this. Awesome song. I'll stop talking now.**_

**Why Do You Love Me?**

**Prologue **

They had stopped it.

It took years for them to begin to relax. To breath.

They had spent so long surviving.

Now they had to learn to live.

He had to teach her.

For years she had protected him, now he had to protect her.

She was, technically, a genius. She learned fast. Emotions were no different.

Her development was similar to that of an infant. The basics came first; joy, anger, fear, sadness and love.

And out of them all the nuances of the human psyche: affection, contentment, pride and optimism, along with irritation, exasperation, disgust, envy, disappointment, sympathy, shame and guilt.

She would swing from one to the other without a moment's notice. It was difficult and painful and beautiful for both of them.

For so long her existence had been defined in relation to him. He tried to support her without moulding her; to allow her to become her own person.

It almost killed him to watch her go through it; and it tortured her to know the pain she was causing.

...

At the beginning there were times when he almost wanted to leave her, and she him.

Their lives, however, were so intrinsically intertwined; every conceivable possible past and future churned and melted within, between, them. They were connected beyond any logic.

There was physical damage. He had long ago lost count how many walls, windows, chairs, vases and plates had been destroyed.

And then there was the emotional. For all her skills with guns, she soon learned how to turn words into even worse weapons. In her fear and confusion she would lash out petulantly, vindictively, even unknowingly.

He always forgave her, of course.

For all his patience, he was only human. Sometimes he retaliated.

She always forgave him.

Countless sleepless nights were spent with her while she cried.

He grew to hate to leave her alone at night; knowing that the few hours of rest for him, could be torment for her. Eventually she had to physically force him into bed.

...

He watched her grow and mature.

What had once been violent ghosts of repressed emotion were given the space and time to develop and evolve; as was she.

He saw her move far beyond memories of Allison and imitations of others.

He could not pinpoint the exact moment. Perhaps there wasn't one. Perhaps there were many. He saw her become completely, utterly _Cameron_.

A whole person, with wants and desires, likes and dislikes, loves and hates.

She was not human. Never human. But it no longer bothered him. And she too was coming to accept it.

Even after years of knowing her, loving her; he was still found himself shocked at the depth of love and respect he had for her.

At the love she was capable of.

_**Annnnd that's it! The following chapters will mainly deal with the bad times in the middle. I just wanted to let you know that everything ends okay ;).**_

_**Well people, we all know there's a **__**very **__**tempting button just below. You know you want to press it...go on...I won't tell anyone.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**PLEASE READ, PLEASE READ, PLEASE READ, PLEASE READ, PLEASE READ, PLEASE READ**

Um, Hi there *waves bashfully*, this is, obviously, YouRemindMe here and I would like to take a moment of your time...

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read this.

Secondly: If you're reading this, you're probably familiar with my other TSCC fanfic 'Sometimes' ; now when I started writing it I found myself in a crazy storm of happy creativity and decided, with my usual foresight, that _of course_ I would be able to write three multichapter fics at the same time- and prepare for and undertake exams simultaneously.

In hindsight that was not my most intelligent decision... Anyway, I also realised that there seemed to be a lot of overlap between what I wanted to write for this story, and what I wanted to write for 'sometimes', so I've decided to finish that first before continuing with this one, and deciding if I even want to.

My apologies for any inconvenience or disappointment caused, but it just isn't do-able right now.

If you haven't already had a peek, I heartily encourage you to toddle off and read 'sometimes'- which I update regularly, and is moving along apace.

Again, thank you for taking the time to read, and I am sorry to do this to you : ).


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